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by Sarah Sheppard October 28, 2024
“There are certain words you and your dying loved one should exchange while you can.” ~ Dr. Ira Byock, author of Dying Well.
Mary never tells her dad she loves him. Rick has said some things to his wife he wished he hadn’t. June and her sister have never gotten along. Nina’s carrying around guilt over something that happened between her and her best friend. Mary, Rick, June, and Nina all have one thing in common. They’re going to lose a person they love. And they’re not ready.
While no one would choose a terminal diagnosis for someone they love, a drawn-out death offers what a sudden death cannot—time to say goodbye. There’s no doubt these conversations may be some of the hardest you’ll ever have. But deciding to have them anyway can bring peace and closure to you and the dying person and leave you both without regrets.
What to Expect Near the End
As you start thinking about losing someone you love, knowing what to expect can take away some fear of the unknown. It can also give you a rough idea of how much time you have left to say goodbye.
When someone moves into what doctors call “actively dying” and has no medical intervention, they go through 3 stages of death. The process can last as little as 24 hours or longer than 14 days.
The stages can look like this:
Early stage:
Middle stage:
Late stage:
Why You Need to Say Goodbye to Your Loved One
When someone dies unexpectedly, you may struggle with regrets over what you said or didn’t say and what you did or didn’t do. With a terminal diagnosis, that doesn’t have to happen. You have an opportunity to end things between you and the dying person the way you’d both like.
Here are some things you might want to do:
Dr. Ira Byock wrote a book called Dying Well. As a hospice advocate, he believes there are certain words you and your dying loved one should exchange while you can.
These are some things you might want to say:
Why Your Loved One Needs to Hear You Say Goodbye to Them
Sometimes, a dying person will cling to life when they believe the people who love them aren’t ready for them to go. They may also be afraid or struggle with what they’re leaving behind or what they’re about to face. Reassuring them can bring the relief and release they need. It can also bring you both comfort.
Here are some things a dying person might need to hear:
The chance to say goodbye is a gift. Moving forward with no regrets after your loved one’s death is also a gift. You’ll never be sorry for using the time you have left with them to work things out, say what needs to be said, or tell them how much they mean to you.
by Lyle Labardee February 23, 2021
Parenting doesn’t need to be a war between you and your child. Effective discipline is proactive, and it encourages positive actions and personal responsibility. It promotes your child’s self-esteem and strengthens relationships between you, your child and their siblings.
WHY CHILDREN MISBEHAVE
Kids truly do mean well and do their best to behave. Sometimes they will fall short of our behavioral expectations. There are several factors contributing to both your child’s behavior and your reaction.
Consider the following:
ACTION STEPS
Positive discipline trains children to behave without resorting to bribes, threats, yelling, or even physical actions. The following strategies will help you channel your child’s energy (and yours) into a more desirable outcome:
✓ Refrain from saying “no” – There’s something about being told “no” that makes children (or adults) want to do something all the more. Instead, offer an alternative.
✓ Control yourself – Children watch their parents. You’re modeling for them what is acceptable. If you yell, they will also. Take steps to remain calm and keep the situation from escalating.
✓ Consistency – We sometimes overlook or address behaviors based on the situation and our own energy level. This can confuse a child. Be clear and consistent with expectations.
✓ Good behavior counts – Too often we give our kids more attention when they misbehave. When we choose to ignore negative behaviors and highlight a good behavior instead, we show our kids what we truly value.
✓ Avoid bribery – When we offer our children bribes as incentives, they don’t associate good behavior as the reward itself. Help your child see that good behavior and choices bring their own rewards.
✓ Give options – There’s nothing wrong with giving your child choices. For example, if a child is fighting with their sibling, explain to them you only have enough energy to either listen to their squabble or do something fun later.
✓ Rewards – Incentives can be powerful motivators for positive behavior.
✓ Responsibility – Trusting children to take care of certain tasks should be seen as a privilege. Responsibility is a reward in itself. When it is framed this way, children will naturally desire to behave in a positive manner to gain more responsibilities.
✓ Your attention – Giving a child your love, understanding and attention is the best reward for them. Setting aside time every day to spend with your child is the best way to influence their lives.
KEEP IN MIND
Raising healthy, well-behaved children takes time, consistency and patience. Long-term habits in anyone’s life require time, and children are no exception. The best results are not always immediate. Stick with it and continue reinforcing your commitment, and remember a licensed counselor or therapist can help you explore how to implement these methods. Loving your child is always a worthwhile investment with life-long returns.
Want to talk to a counselor today about this?
by Lyle Labardee September 07, 2020
Humans can become addicted to many different behaviors including gambling and gaming. Many people are able to gamble and engage in gaming apps with little to no lasting effects. However, others find the thrill of gaming and gambling addictive and return to it time and again despite incurring great costs in terms of their relationships, financial security and general well-being
Bingo, lottery tickets, casino games, online poker, going to the racetrack and even engaging in online gaming apps are all examples of this type of addictive behavior. Clearly, not everyone who gambles or games becomes addicted. There is no easy formula for determining who develops an addiction to gambling or gaming. Studies have indicated, however, that it is a combination of environmental, genetic, behavioral and biological factors.
DETERMINING A GAMBLING or GAMING PROBLEM
As outlined in The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.; DSM–5; American Psychiatric Association, 2013), Gambling Disorder is similar to substance-related disorders in nature, presentation and treatment. While the following list of signs indicates the potential for gambling problems consider its application to issues associated with excessive computer gaming as well:
ACCESS AND IMPACT
Gambling and gaming addictions are more prevalent than ever before because people have constant access to the thrill of the behavior through the Internet. Like any addiction, compulsive gambling and gaming affects all aspects of life including physical health, relationships, finances and well-being.
ACTION STEPS
If you or someone you know is struggling with gambling or excessive gaming consider the following:
✓ Schedule an appointment for a check-up with your primary care provider.
✓ Alternatively meet with a counselor or other provider experienced in treating addictions.
✓ Complete an honest appraisal of your gambling or gaming behavior.
✓ Identify the triggers in your life that compel you to pursue gambling or gaming
✓ Make a list of the current stressors in your life.
✓ Consider and write down questions you might have for your care provider.
✓ Share the information you have compiled with your care provider.
✓ Inquire as to what treatment options are available.
✓ Inquire about available community resources and support groups.
KEEP IN MIND
Determination and will power are often not powerful enough to overcome the gambling and gaming impulse, and you are not alone in this struggle. Help is available, along with the hope of a better life. Consider reaching out to your health care provider and engaging other counseling resources for guidance on next steps.
Want to talk to a counselor today about this?
by Lyle Labardee September 07, 2020
Marijuana, also known as weed, pot, grass, and Mary Jane, marijuana consists of various parts of the hemp plant known as Cannabis sativa . Within the hemp plant is a mind-altering chemical known as THC. It can be smoked, inhaled with a vaporizer, or mixed into foods or liquids. Mostly used recreationally, marijuana is known to induce a relaxed state.
MEDICINAL BENEFITS
Teens who frequently use marijuana could suffer damage in brain functions, particularly with memory, thinking, and learning. The results may be long-term or even permanent.
Marijuana Effects:
Heavy marijuana users report lower life satisfaction, poorer mental and physical health, more relationship problems, and less success in life and school.
TREATMENT OPTIONS
The scientific data for marijuana as a treatment for many medical conditions is ongoing. The use of marijuana for some health issues such as chronic pain, multiple sclerosis, and glaucoma is being studied. Consideration is also being given to the use of Marijuana to treat many other disorders and diseases.
YOUTH AND MARIJUANA USE
Adolescents and young people who recreationally or habitually use marijuana increase their chances of long-term consequences. Because their brain is still developing, the risk factors are much higher.
Addiction occurs in roughly 9% of all marijuana users, jumping to 17% in adolescents. Attempting to quit can produce withdrawal symptoms of irritability, difficult sleeping, anxiety, and decrease in appetite.
While there is currently no medication available to treat a marijuana addiction, there are multiple therapies available. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help users increase their self-control, stop altogether, and address the problems caused by heavy drug use. Motivational enhancement therapy encourages users to create internally motivated changes to counter drug use.
ACTION STEPS
✓ Seek help – Be open with your doctor or counselor about your marijuana habits. They can help you personalize a plan for change.
✓ Hydrate – Be sure to drink plenty of water. Reduce your caffeine intake until any altered sleep patterns normalize.
✓ Exercise – Physical activity helps alleviate depressive symptoms and promotes good health. Exercise also aids your body’s healing process.
✓ Avoid triggers – Places and people that encourage your marijuana use shouldn’t be tolerated. Surround yourself with those who respect your choice to stop using.
✓ Find support – There are a variety of 12- step programs and support groups available to help you on your journey.
KEEP IN MIND
Marijuana addiction, along with any substance use issue, doesn’t need to write your life story. Be courageous and seek help for a healthy, new start on life. There are ample resources available to live an addiction-free life.
by Lyle Labardee September 07, 2020
Time to take a look at how you or someone you love is using alcohol and/or drugs? What we put into our body matters. Substances like drugs and alcohol have a huge impact on our brain and activate its reward system. Often people try to replicate that feeling of being high or intoxicated despite ever-increasing personal loss and suffering.
On a typical day, do you have 2 or more drinks?
Is it difficult to stop drinking once you start?
Do responsibilities at work or home go undone because of drinking?
Have you forgotten events due to drinking?
Do you ever need a drink in the morning?
Has anyone expressed concern about your alcohol consumption?
Do you wrestle with guilt after you drink?
SUBSTANCE ABUSE INDICATORS
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.; DSM–5; American Psychiatric Association, 2013) lists the criteria needed to be diagnosed with a substance use disorder. Some of the hallmarks identified in this list include: craving, drinking or using more than intended. Clinicians highlight two benchmarks for determining a substance use disorder, tolerance and withdrawal. Your answers to the questions below will provide an indication as to whether or not you might be experiencing a substance use disorder.
Have you ever used drugs for other than medical reasons?
Do you need drugs to make it through your week?
Have you ever abused more than one drug at a time?
Do you struggle with guilt about your drug use?
Have you neglected family or work because of drugs?
Have you engaged in illegal activities to get drugs?
Do you feel withdrawal symptoms if you stop using?
Has anyone expressed concern about your drug usage?
ACTION STEPS
Knowing where to start is often the hardest part in any recovery journey. These suggestions can help you begin the treatment process:
✓ Take an honest look at the problems drinking or drug use are causing in your life.
✓ Schedule a visit with your primary care provider to explore treatment options.
✓ Ask for help from friends, family and community resources.
✓ Access peer support resources such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics
Anonymous.
KEEP IN MIND
If you or someone you know struggles with alcohol or drug use, be courageous and seek help. Consider reaching out to your health care provider and engaging other counseling resources for guidance on next steps.
Want to talk to a counselor today about this?
by Lyle Labardee September 07, 2020
Having 4-5 drinks within a two hour time span is binge drinking and it can be deadly. One in six Americans drinks to excess, or binge drinks, at least four times per month. Binge drinking occurs when an individual’s drinking pattern causes their blood alcohol concentration (BAC) to be 0.08 percent or higher. In common terms, this equates to roughly five drinks for a man and four drinks for a woman within a two-hour span.
THE DAMAGE OF BINGE DRINKING
It’s no secret that excessive alcohol can negatively impact our lives. Drinking alcohol can affect our physical, emotional, and mental health. It can alter our sense of balance, decision-making abilities, alcohol consumption changes your brain’s chemical balance and nerve tracks associated with the experience of pleasure and judgment. The ability to exercise control over your behavior becomes severely distorted. These chemical changes cause you to crave alcohol to feel good or alleviate negative emotions.
There are several questions to signal if you or a loved one is struggling with binge drinking. Answering yes to one or more of these questions might be a warning sign to seek help.
Do you wrestle with guilt about drinking too much?
Do you feel you need to reduce your drinking?
Are you surprised when you drink more than you intended?
Do you ever have four or more drinks in one day?
Do you forget conversations or events that happened while you were drinking?
Are you frustrated by others’ comments on how much you drink?
Does drinking come before other responsibilities?
Binge drinking affects memory and a variety of other brain and body functions, and is often associated with social and relational consequences such as car accidents, domestic violence, sexually transmitted diseases, and unintended pregnancies. The short-term physical effects of binge drinking include nausea, hangovers, memory loss, alcohol poisoning, and personal injury. Long-term potential consequences can include brain or liver damage, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, depression, cancer, and relational and work problems.
ACTION STEPS
Making the choice to reduce or eliminate drinking is a powerful step. The following tips will help you navigate through the process:
✓ Take an honest inventory of your life, how much you drink and the consequences.
✓ Take a look at where and when you binge drink and consider avoiding these situations.
✓ Reduce the amount you consume at one time and delay having another drink.
✓ Intersperse non-alcoholic beverages like soda or quinine water.
✓ Talk with your health care providers about treatment options.
✓ Seek out individual counseling or support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous.
KEEP IN MIND
There are numerous benefits to reducing your alcohol consumption. Most importantly, changing excessive drinking habits allows you to once again take control of your life. You’re not alone, and help is available. Consider reaching out to your health care provider and engaging other counseling resources for guidance on next steps.
Want to talk to a counselor today about this?
by Lyle Labardee September 07, 2020
When it comes to the risk of prescription drug abuse, everyone is susceptible. Especially common among young people, an estimated 52 million have taken prescription drugs for a nonmedical reason at least once. After marijuana and alcohol, prescription medications are the most abused substances in the U.S.
THE CYCLE OF PRESCRIPTION DRUG ABUSE
People misuse prescription drugs for many reasons. Social pressures, stress relief, and the need to be alert for work and school are common motivations. Because these medications activate the brain’s reward center, you can become addicted easily and continue using them despite serious consequences.
COMMONLY ABUSED PRESCRIPTION DRUGS AND SYMPTOMS
Painkillers
Sedatives
RISKS AND CONSEQUENCES
Prescription drug abuse is highest among young adults; however, older people taking multiple medications are also at risk. Besides physical symptoms, the consequences of prescription drug abuse are severe. Car accidents, criminal actions, illegal drug use, decreased performance at work or school, and relational problems are all common effects of misusing prescription medications. Judgment is often seriously impaired.
ACTION STEPS
✓ Schedule a visit with your primary care provider to discuss treatment options.
✓ Follow primary care provider’s treatment recommendations, which may involve detox.
✓ Consider participating in a recovery or peer support program.
✓ Enlist the support of family and friends and be accountable to them for recovery.
✓ Explore the root causes of prescription drug abuse such as when and why it started.
KEEP IN MIND
You’re not alone, and help is available. Consider reaching out to your health care provider and engaging other counseling resources for guidance on next steps.
Want to talk to a counselor today about this?
by Lyle Labardee September 07, 2020
Did you know you could have a drinking problem without being an alcoholic? You might not be completely dependent on alcohol, but if you still drink excessively, it can lead to serious problems. About 17 million U.S. adults have an Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD), as well as about 3.4% of teens.
HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH?
In the U.S., a standard drink contains 0.6 fluid ounces of pure alcohol. This translates to:
Moderate drinking is defined as no more than one drink per day for women and two for men. For some people, it’s advised to avoid alcohol completely. These include those who are:
ALCOHOL’S EFFECTS
There are both short and long-term effects of excessive drinking and intoxication. Lowered inhibitions and interference with speech and muscle coordination are some of the short-term effects. Heavy binge drinking may impair your memory or even cause a coma or death. The effects of long-term excessive drinking include digestive problems, difficulty with sexual functioning, heart problems, liver disease, neurological problems, and an increased risk of cancer.
SIGNS OF ALCOHOLISM
People who regularly binge drink or begin at an early age are at a high risk for alcoholism. Those with a family history of substance abuse and people who have a mental illness are also at risk. In addition, look for the following signs that indicate alcoholism:
ACTION STEPS
✓ Schedule an appointment for a check-up with your primary care provider.
✓ Provide your doctor with an honest and forthright report of your alcohol use.
✓ Recognize you may need to be admitted to rehab to completely detox.
✓ Seek out individual counseling from professionals specializing in addictions.
✓ Participate in support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous.
✓ Make lifestyle changes to support reduced alcohol use or abstinence.
✓ Enlist the support of friends and family who are not also dependent on alcohol.
KEEP IN MIND
Alcoholism and excessive drinking is not something to take lightly. If you or someone you know struggles with this, be courageous and seek help. Consider reaching out to your health care provider and engaging other counseling resources for guidance on next steps.
Want to talk to a counselor today about this?
by Lyle Labardee September 07, 2020
Everyone has ups and downs in life, but some people experience a disorder which disrupts their work, school, and/or relationships. Bipolar disorder is a mental illness that impacts your mood, energy levels, and ability to complete daily tasks.
BIPOLAR CAUSES
There is no single cause for bipolar disorder. Research suggests that genetic components, family history, and a person’s environment are all factors.
TYPES OF BIPOLAR DISORDER
No one experiences bipolar disorder exactly the same way, but there are two main classifications, Bipolar I and Bipolar II, as identified in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.; DSM–5; American Psychiatric Association, 2013).
TREATMENT OPTIONS
Bipolar disorder is an absolutely treatable condition. A combination of medication and psychotherapy works well for many coping with the diagnosis.
ACTION STEPS
If you or a loved one is showing signs of bipolar tendencies, know you’re not alone. The following tips will help guide you or your loved one toward help.
For a loved one:
✓ Be there and offer support in any way you can.
✓ Take time to listen and give them your full attention.
✓ Encourage them to seek treatment and consider going with them.
✓ Observe their behavior and never ignore signs indicating suicidal thoughts.
For yourself:
✓ Learn about the warning signs and symptoms of depression and mania.
✓ Schedule an appointment for a check-up with your primary care provider.
✓ Talk with your health care providers about treatment options.
✓ Adhere to medication and treatment regimens prescribed by your doctor.
✓ Practice self-care by eating healthy, exercising regularly, and getting rest.
✓ Be patient with yourself, treatment plans take time.
If you’re feeling suicidal, don’t hesitate to call 911, or go to an urgent care center or hospital emergency room for immediate assistance.
KEEP IN MIND
You’re not alone, and help is available. Consider reaching out to your health care provider and engaging other counseling resources for guidance on next steps.
What steps will you take today to be well and live life more fully?
Want to talk to a counselor today about this?
by Lyle Labardee September 07, 2020
Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) affects millions of children. However, it’s not just kids who live with ADHD; an estimated eight to nine million adults in the United States (roughly 4.4%) are diagnosed with it. There are three different types of ADHD: Complete, Predominately Inattentive, and Hyperactive-Impulsive. Often the term “ADD” is used as a catchall for all three subtypes.
Three core characteristics are used to identify ADHD:
Just because you experience these behaviors doesn’t mean you have ADHD. These must be sustained characteristics creating difficulty in at least two areas of life such as school, work, home, and relationships.
SYMPTOMS OF ADHD
Different people experience ADHD in different ways. One-third of diagnosed individuals don’t experience any hyperactive behavior. Others struggle with distractibility symptoms.
Distractibility Symptoms:
ADHD CAUSES AND TREATMENT
Evidence suggests ADHD runs in families, usually begins in childhood, and occurs more in boys than girls.
ADHD is a treatable illness. The most effective options are a combination of medication and counseling. A physician will typically prescribe a stimulant, which has proven effective for many people.
ACTION STEPS
If you or a loved one relate to these symptoms, there are services in place to help you. Federal legislation recognizes ADHD as a disability; therefore, reasonable accommodations can be made in the workplace or school.
If you think you have ADHD:
✓ Schedule an appointment for a check-up with your primary care provider.
✓ Talk with your health care providers about treatment options.
✓ Adhere to medication and treatment regimens prescribed by your doctor.
✓ Ask your physician to suggest a professional specializing in ADHD.
✓ Seek out individual counseling or support groups.
KEEP IN MIND
You’re not alone, and help is available. Consider reaching out to your health care provider and engaging other counseling resources for guidance on next steps.
What steps will you take today to be well and live life more fully?
Want to talk to a counselor today about this?
by Lyle Labardee September 07, 2020
The chance of experiencing loss in your lifetime is 100 percent. Everyone encounters significant loss at some point, and grief is the emotional reaction to that loss. Whether you face the death of a beloved family member or pet, see a marriage or job crumble, or watch your health or finances diminish, some level of grieving will occur.
Grief is both universal and unique in its nature. Two people experiencing the same loss might react very differently depending on their relationship to whom or what is being grieved.
It’s not uncommon to experience sleeplessness, weight loss or gain, or a weakened immune system. Chronic illnesses may become worse due to the stress of grieving. Emotional responses may range from anger, sadness, guilt, fear, or anxiety to moments of relief, peace, or even happiness.
THE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF
While there is no normal or expected grief response, there are five common stages, observed by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, through which many people walk. These stages include:
COMMON MYTHS ABOUT GRIEF
No two individuals will follow the same grief path or timetable. Grieving is an intensely personal experience, and no one should determine what is grief-worthy for another. There is no “normal” or standard protocol that fits everyone. Here are some other common misconceptions:
ACTION STEPS
There are many useful ways to move from a place of grief to a life of healing and hope.
✓ Talking about the loss with family and friends can aid healing.
✓ Emotional reactions of all sorts (anger, sadness, bitterness, envy) are normal.
✓ Give yourself permission to experience a wide range of emotions and not feel guilty.
✓ Take care of yourself with good nutrition, exercise and rest.
✓ Avoid relying on caffeine, alcohol or other drugs as a means of self-medicating.
KEEP IN MIND
Coping with grief and loss takes time and involves learning to live with the loss without being consumed by it. Consider reaching out to your health care provider and engaging other counseling resources for guidance on next steps.
What steps will you take today to help yourself heal and recover?
by Lyle Labardee September 07, 2020
Anxiety disorders affect over 40 million Americans, interfering with daily activities. Many of these disorders involve panic attacks, which are sudden feelings of intense terror that peak quickly.
ANXIETY DISORDER SYMPTOMS
Experiencing anxiety for a short period, such as before a big exam or a major event, doesn’t necessarily mean you have an anxiety disorder. You must be symptomatic for a minimum of six months. The following are common anxiety disorder symptoms:
TYPES OF ANXIETY DISORDERS
There are several types of anxiety disorders and each person experiences the disorder somewhat differently. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.; DSM–5; American Psychiatric Association, 2013) classifies the most common forms of anxiety disorders as follows:
ACTION STEPS
Diagnosing and living with an anxiety disorder is a journey. However, these helpful first steps can guide you along the way:
✓ Schedule an appointment for a check-up with your primary care provider.
✓ Talk with your health care providers about treatment options.
✓ Adhere to medication and treatment regimens prescribed by your doctor.
✓ Seek out individual counseling or support groups.
✓ Connect with those who will support and encourage you.
✓ Practice positive coping skills, like taking a walk or meditating.
KEEP IN MIND
Remember, an anxiety disorder does not define you, nor does it comprise the whole of your life. Consider reaching out to your health care provider and engaging other counseling resources for guidance on next steps.
by Lyle Labardee September 07, 2020
Everyone feels sad or down sometimes. For many people, these feelings will disappear or fade after a few days; however, depression is different. It impacts your daily life, and you can’t simply snap out of it.
TYPES AND SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION
Depression looks different for everyone. One person may appear sad or hopeless and another might be persistently irritable and anxious. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.; DSM–5; American Psychiatric Association, 2013) classifies depression as follows:
CAUSES OF DEPRESSION
There are times when a person may become depressed without any attributable cause. However, most researchers agree that genetic, environmental, biological, and psychological factors all contribute.
ACTION STEPS
If you or someone you know is struggling with depression consider the following:
✓ Schedule an appointment for a check-up with
your primary care provider.
✓ Seek out individual counseling or support groups.
✓ Do your best to be active and exercise. ✓ Make small, attainable goals for yourself.
✓ Try to spend time with others and avoid isolation. Allow others to help you.
✓ Give yourself time and grace. Expect your mood to improve gradually.
✓ Postpone making important life decisions.
✓ Connect with family and friends and share your thoughts, feeling and concerns.
If you’re feeling suicidal, don’t hesitate to call 911, or go to an urgent care center or hospital emergency room for immediate assistance.
KEEP IN MIND
You’re not alone, and help is available. Accurate diagnosis and effective treatment will help you overcome. Consider reaching out to your health care provider and engaging other counseling resources for guidance on next steps.
by Lyle Labardee September 07, 2020
Fear is a normal and even beneficial part of life. In times of danger, fear triggers the body’s fight-or-flight response, alerting us to stay on guard. However, a person struggling with PTSD experiences a reaction whether danger is real or perceived.
PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) is most often associated with war veterans, but anyone is susceptible after a traumatic event. Nearly 3.5% of Americans suffer from PTSD after such events, which might include physical abuse, a car accident, natural disasters, sexual assault, or any other traumatic situation.
EVALUATE YOUR STRESS MANAGEMENT STRATEGIES
Physical, emotional, and mental symptoms are natural after a trauma. However, if they persist after several weeks or months, it’s important to check in with your doctor or a mental health professional. An official PTSD diagnosis might be warranted. Symptoms include three major categories:
Substance abuse, depression, and anxiety disorders can also accompany PTSD. If you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, ask for help or call a suicide hotline immediately. .
RISKS AND TREATMENT
PTSD is more likely to affect those with a family history of mental illness, no social support network, or a history of childhood trauma. Your brain’s chemical response to stress is also a contributor. You can reduce your PTSD risk with healthy coping strategies, such as leaning on family or friends, attending a support group, and eliminating self-blame.
Those seeking PTSD treatment typically use medication, psychotherapy, or both. Talk therapy is also effective to practice anger management, identify guilt or shame, and learn relational techniques. If your loved one is struggling with PTSD, remember to give them space when needed. If they’re seeking help, don’t pressure them to talk about everything with you too.
ACTION STEPS
✓ Identify – Make a list of any symptoms you have and how long you’ve experienced them. Write down anything helpful for your doctor, including past events triggering intense fear, medications you use, and other diagnoses. Consider bringing someone along to appointments to help you remember any information.
✓ Practice self-care – Proper rest, a healthy diet, and exercise are beneficial. Avoid self- medicating with alcohol and drugs.
✓ Seek community – Isolating yourself from people who care about you won’t help. You don’t need to talk openly about the event, just spend time with those who care. Also, consider finding a support group. Community resources or your doctor can help you find the right one for you.
KEEP IN MIND
PTSD is not something you need to battle alone. Turn to others, personal or professional, to receive help and learn healthy coping strategies. What positive steps will you take today to address PTSD and move towards a healthier life?
Want to talk to a counselor today about this?
by Lyle Labardee September 07, 2020
Individuals with threatening, intimidating and negative personality traits undermine relationships, households and organizations. Individuals all around us have their own unique personalities. Undoubtedly, we all encounter individuals from time to time with personalities that are challenging, emotionally abusive and even aggressive. When we better understand individuals with difficult personalities, it keeps us from taking things personally, and enables us to help create a safe and productive environment for others.
Some of the more dominant difficult personality traits include:
ACTION STEPS
When interacting with hostile people:
✓ Find ways for them to let off steam and calm down without becoming abusive.
✓ Address them by name, and calmly state what you want to discuss.
✓ Set boundaries and avoid engaging them in front of an audience.
When interacting with narcissistic people:
✓ Refuse to argue or act like you know more than they do.
✓ Explain that you would like to use your knowledge too.
✓ Set clear boundaries, expectations and consequences.
When interacting with passive-aggressive people:
✓ Focus on the issue, not the person, and limit potential for personalizing.
✓ Meet with the individual in private or with one of your managerial peers.
✓ Let them know you will not tolerate their sarcasm and undercutting.
When interacting with negative people:
✓ Focus on the facts of a situation and what needs to happen next.
✓ Avoid engaging in discussion or debate about possible solutions.
✓ Instead, ask them what would be different if the problem was solved.
When interacting with antisocial people:
✓ Use open-ended questions when you speak to them and engage them.
✓ Be comfortable with silence and wait for them to respond.
✓ Build rapport casually rather than engaging intensely too quickly.
KEEP IN MIND
Dealing with difficult personality traits in the people we love or work with requires effort, and it can be frustrating and discouraging. Remember, you’re not alone when it comes to figuring out how to work with those who have some of these traits. Consider engaging a life coach or counselor for guidance on next steps.
by Lyle Labardee September 07, 2020
Everyone faces conflict in varying degrees at some point in life. Because conflict happens in any relationship, including those at work and at home, no one is immune to its complexities. How we choose to deal with conflict is unique, as everyone brings his or her own personality and experiences to these difficulties.
CONFLICT OCCURS EVERYWHERE
Conflict erupts at home, in the community, in the workplace and just about anywhere two or more people gather and express their needs, wants and desires. A conflict is a difference of opinions, priorities, or perspectives, whether friendly or hostile. How you perceive conflict largely determines the role it will play in your life. Those who view conflict as a threat usually experience anxiety and stress, and those who see it as an opportunity for growth can overcome it and even benefit from it.
Conflict in life is guaranteed and often it will be unexpected. When you are able to calmly respond to an individual your viewpoint is more likely to be understood. No one wants to feel like the other person is simply trying to win an argument.
ACTION STEPS
While some complex conflicts may require a third party such as a licensed counselor or mediator, there are a number of strategies that you can use to resolve many of the conflicts likely to be encountered at work, home, the community and just about anywhere else in life. Define acceptable behaviors
✓ Clarify what you consider to be acceptable and unacceptable behavior for others.
✓ Demonstrate what’s expected from others and reinforce it.
✓ Provide a guide as to what is considered acceptable behavior.
Proactively address conflict:
✓ If you sense tension, take a proactive stance and calmly address it.
✓ Calmly address others as soon as it seems like there may be conflict.
✓ Recognize there may be circumstances underlying the conflict. Choose your battles.
✓ Decide in advance what types of issues or differences really matter.
✓ Letting some issues go will not necessarily undermine your position on other issues.
✓ When in doubt, address the issue and clarify expectations. Look for growth opportunities.
✓ View conflict as an opportunity to discuss, resolve and grow in respect for one another.
✓ Listen actively for the assumptions, cultural values, and beliefs behind another’s message.
✓ Acknowledge the message expressed, and recognize and affirm the other person.
KEEP IN MIND
The long-term effects of unresolved conflict are often far more damaging than the short- term discomfort of resolving them. With the right mindset and a little practice, you will start seeing conflict as a growth opportunity, one that will help you achieve your goals and create healthy relationships.
You’re not in this alone. Consider engaging a life coach or counselor for guidance on next steps.
by Lyle Labardee September 07, 2020
The average adult needs between seven and nine hours of sleep for optimal health. Even though we spend roughly a third of our lives asleep, most people know little about it. Our two sleep states are REM, or rapid eye movement, and non-REM. While dreams occur in our REM periods, our deepest and most restorative sleep occurs during non-REM.
SLEEP DEPRIVATION SYMPTOMS
Feeling tired or irritable? Chances are you might need better sleep habits. More than 70 million Americans suffer with a sleep disorder. This sleep deprivation increases your risk for larger health concerns, such as weight gain, memory loss, high blood pressure, fatigue, and mood problems. Relationships suffer when we don’t get enough sleep, and we create unsafe situations at work, home, or on the road.
Everyone experiences an “off” night with their sleep pattern. However, when you consistently get less sleep than normal, you fall into a “sleep debt.” The higher the debt, the greater the chance of problems. Physical symptoms of sleep deprivation include:
COMMON SLEEP STRUGGLES
Difficulty falling asleep, waking too early, or having trouble falling back asleep could all point to insomnia. These concerns should be discussed with your doctor or a mental health professional.
Snoring can be indicative of sleep apnea, where breaks in breathing occur during your sleep. This can be quite dangerous, increasing your risk of cardiovascular disease. Your doctor can order a sleep study and answer other questions.
GOOD SLEEP INGREDIENTS
The following suggestions can help create the ideal sleeping environment.
ACTION STEPS
✓ Create a routine – Create a regular schedule to train your body to sleep well. Go to bed and wake at the same time, even on weekends. Form a bedtime routine by taking a warm shower or reading.
✓ Limit naps – Reduce afternoon naps to 30 minutes or less.
✓ Watch your diet – Avoid going to bed on an empty or too full stomach. Limit beverages to curb nighttime bathroom trips, and avoid caffeine or alcohol before bed.
✓ Be proactive – If you can’t fall asleep after
15 minutes, get up and do something. Then return to bed once you feel sleepy.
KEEP IN MIND
Dealing with restless or interrupted sleep can be frustrating. Consider talking with your medical doctor for more information about persistent sleep problems.
What healthy habits will you create and maintain to maximize your sleep?
Want to talk to a counselor today about this?
by Lyle Labardee September 07, 2020
Everyone experiences anger. We’re biologically wired to become angry in response to potential threats. Anger is often triggered by an event or memory. However, we can’t respond to every obstacle in life with this emotion. Anger management involves learning the signs of anger and how to manage your reaction positively.
Some people are more likely to become angry than others. Even if they aren’t physically violent, they might be irritable, sarcastic, or constantly grumpy. Anger causes physical symptoms too, such as digestive and heart problems, high blood pressure, difficulty sleeping, headaches, and risk of substance abuse.
ANGER RESPONSES
We answer anger’s call by expressing it, suppressing it, or calming it. None of these responses are inherently wrong and should be used at various times. For example, if you never express your anger, you may become passive aggressive. Rather, we can learn to express our anger in assertive, non-aggressive ways. Suppressing our anger is beneficial when we redirect our thoughts and actions toward positive solutions. And calming our anger is a powerful skill to reduce our physiological responses.
SEEKING HELP
It can be difficult to assess if you need anger management help. Are you feeling constantly irritated, frustrated, anxious, depressed, or out of control? Do you frequently engage in arguments with others, in physical violence, or think about violence? If you answered yes, consider seeking help.
Ask your doctor, mental health professional, or your employee assistance provider (EAP) for a referral. Consider attending a support group or check out other resources available online. Talk to someone who’s been through a program to hear about their experience.
ANGER MANAGEMENT BENEFITS
There are incredible paybacks to learning anger management skills. You can strengthen your communication strategies, learn conflict resolution skills, and foster positive relationships with family, friends, and coworkers. You might sleep better, digest food properly, and live longer. Anger management also lowers your risk for depression, anxiety, overeating, and substance abuse.
ACTION STEPS
✓ Identify stressors – Discover what is triggering your anger, such as work, relationships, or rush hour.
✓ Notice indicators – Pay attention to any physical, emotional, or behavioral signs you experience when angry.
✓ Examine thinking – Strive to correct your thinking and operate based on facts and good rationale. Avoid all-or-nothing thinking or jumping to the worst conclusion.
✓ Learn relaxation techniques – Practice mindfulness and deep breathing to soothe your body and focus your thoughts.
✓ Focus on solutions – Anger management can help focus your energy on problem solving rather than frustration and hopelessness.
KEEP IN MIND
Remember, asking for help is never a weakness. For some people, reading tips on anger management is enough support. Others might need to take a class or see a professional to learn and practice new skills.
What positive steps will you take today toward managing your anger instead of letting it manage you?
by Jessica Ball, MS, RD September 06, 2020
These days, it can be tough to muster up energy for several things, especially cooking a healthy meal. The coronavirus pandemic has had far-reaching impacts on health and wellness beyond solely disease risk. Several people are working from home, have kids home from school or have a hybrid schedule that is different than what many are used to. This has led to disrupted schedules, new challenges with grocery shopping and confusion about dinner prep rolls with families figuring out working and living at home. The everchanging global pandemic has taken a toll on physical and mental health for many.
Lucky for us all, healthy eating doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact, there are several simple steps to a healthier eating pattern that take little time and energy but pack a punch for your health. As a registered dietitian, these are some of the most effective tips to help you feel great and eat cleaner with minimal effort.
Get Plenty of Fruits & Veggies
Fruits and vegetables come in many shapes, forms and flavors, and are the cornerstone of a healthy eating pattern. Yet, the Center for Disease Control found that only 1 in 10 Americans are meeting the daily recommended intake of fruits (1 ½ to 2 cups) and vegetables (2 to 3 cups). So where is the disconnect? One of the easiest ways to boost your fruit and veg intake is to work them in to foods you already enjoy. Add vegetables to your egg scramble or favorite pasta dish. Smoothies are a great place to add ample fruits and vegetables. Rice bowls can be loaded with veggies, and stir fries are great for using up produce that is on its way out. Making sure each meal or snack has at least some fruit or vegetable in it will help you meet (and even exceed) the recommended daily intake.
Load Up in the Morning
You often hear that “breakfast is the most important meal of the day” and the science is there to back it up. Studies in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition and Physiological Behavior have found that timing of eating is an important factor is risk of obesity and body fat percentage. Work fruits and vegetables into your morning meal to give you a nutritional boost to start your day. Mix in vegetables and greens to smoothies, like this delicious Pineapple Green Smoothie. You (or your kids) won’t even taste that they’re there. A vegetable and egg scramble with whole wheat toast is another one of my favorite go-to breakfasts. Whole grains like oatmeal are also super nutritious options that will keep you full all morning, and can be made to be savory or sweet.
Drink Up
Dehydration can have a slew of nasty symptoms, from fatigue to dizziness and confusion. Not to mention, not drinking enough water can be a sneaky reason you are not losing weight, if that is your goal. Bring a water bottle with you around the house or when you run errands to make it easy to sip all day. If you need something to make it more interesting, try adding frozen fruit, lemon or fresh herbs for a flavor boost. Also, having a glass of water before meals or snacks can help you distinguish hunger from what is actually thirst, and also helps meals digest more easily.
Eat More Frequently
Yes, you read that correctly. Eating healthy doesn’t have to mean eating less. In fact, having more frequent meals throughout the day has been shown to improve weight loss and help people manage their hunger. When you go long periods of time without eating, you can overdo it when you do finally get a chance to eat. We’ve all been there, but a snack every few hours can take the edge off and prevent eating past fullness.
If you try eating more frequently, also try using smaller plates to help you easily control your portion size. Following your hunger cues is another great way to stay ahead of overeating. Eating a small meal or snack with fruit or vegetables, protein (such as Greek yogurt, hummus or a hardboiled egg) and some healthy fat (like avocado, cheese or peanut butter) will help keep you feeling satisfied, not stuffed, all day long.
Be Aware of Processed Foods
Not all processed or packaged foods are inherently “bad”, and several can have a place in a healthy eating pattern. Not to mention, they are super convenient for when you’re in a busy season. However, it is important to be aware of how much and what kind of processed foods you are enjoying. The label on the back is an easy place to start when choosing a snack. Opt for things that are lower in added sugars, salt or fat and higher in protein and fiber. Not only will this reduce the “empty calories” you eat throughout the day that can contribute to weight gain, but it will also keep you feeling full for longer. Things like potato chips or candy may taste good in the moment, but they don’t have much staying power and can actually leave you feeling hungrier later. Not the ideal snack. When you are in a pinch and need something quick, try choosing trail mix or lightly seasoned beef jerky.
Eating in a healthy way can take many different forms and looks a little different for everyone. These tips are simple starters to get you back on track. Whether it’s drinking more water or having a piece of fruit as an afternoon snack, you’ll be feeling better and more productive in no time. Finding simple ways to eat well will help you feel healthier and find more energy when you need it.
Want to talk to a counselor today about this?
by Renae Brumbaugh, MFA September 06, 2020
Managing Financial Stress During COVID-19
In March of this year, more than three million people filed for unemployment during a single week. In addition to the obvious concerns over physical health, Americans are feeling financial stress unlike any that’s been experienced in decades. Many wonder how best to handle this economic crisis. Spending money feels empowering and helps the economy. It also depletes our funds and leads to even more financial stress.
Reduced finances provide yet another layer in the stress and anxiety caused by COVID-19. Any kind of stress or anxiety affects all aspects of our health, and that can domino into more serious issues like lack of sleep, poor diet, and overall depression. While we can’t control many things about this pandemic, there are some healthy steps we can take to ensure our financial stability.
A good first response to financial struggle is to evaluate expenses. Take a look at your expenses, and place each expense into one of the following categories:
The act of categorizing expenses in this way can often bring immense relief right away. Once we know where our money is going, we can easily figure out where to cut costs. Much of the stress we feel comes from not knowing exactly where our money disappears to.
Another way to find relief is to ask for help. This requires us to set aside our pride, and that can be difficult. However, many people are in the same situation. Government aid and local help programs are designed for such a time as this. Those programs aren’t intended for long-term use. They were created to help hard working citizens make it through a difficult time. Don’t hesitate to call your local food bank or other charitable institution and tell them your situation. If possible, offer to volunteer. These places often need an extra hand, and helping others in the middle of your own crisis can be extremely fulfilling.
Ask your employer or bank official for financial advice. They will often know of government aid incentives, such as lowered mortgage or delayed payment for loans. Don’t worry about trying to get out of debt during this crisis. Instead, focus on meeting basic needs for yourself and your family, while not accruing even more debt.
Finally, take a deep breath. This financial crisis may not end soon, but it will end. In the meantime, practice gratitude. When we focus on the things we do have instead of the things we don’t, our spirits naturally lift. We become more settled, more relaxed. And a healthy mindset does more for our wellbeing than a trip to Starbucks.
Want to talk to a counselor today about this?
by Renae Brumbaugh, MFA September 06, 2020
Bouncing Back from the Pandemic: Learning to be Resilient
Resilience is the ability to adapt well in response to stressful events. While many people are naturally resilient, it’s also a skill that can be developed. With practice, we can learn behaviors, thoughts, and actions to help us bounce back after trials. COVID-19, and the changes surrounding it, has brought stress to almost every area of our lives. Now more than ever, resilience is a needed skill. When individuals find it too difficult to recover from hardship, there is a greater chance of experiencing anxiety, depression, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
Qualities of Resilience
What does a resilient person look like? Typically, a person who adapts well to stressful life experiences is also a good communicator and problem-solver. He or she can identify and control personal emotions rather than be mastered by them. Resilient people have strong self-confidence and self-esteem, and they believe in their abilities. They set goals, make plans, and follow through with them. They also don’t hesitate to lean on helpful family or friends, support or faith-based groups, or mental health professionals such as a licensed counselor or therapist.
Building Resilience in Stressful Times
Someone who lacks resilience may focus on life’s problems and feel like a victim. Others may turn to unhealthy behaviors or develop substance abuse. There are genuine ways to improve our reactions to life’s challenges. Consider the following strategies to build your resiliency:
Resilient people understand what not to do, as well. In order to promote better resilience in your life and the lives of your family, avoid stressful situations like negative social media posts or engaging in online arguments. Turn off the evening news, which is filled with negative stories that simply cause stress and raise blood pressure. If you need to know something, your family and friends will tell you.
Pace yourself. The stress of COVID-19 and the year 2020 will not go away overnight, or even after the election. Being resilient means knowing where, when and how to disengage and rest, recover and renew.
The Benefits of Growing in Resilience
There are several advantages to building resilience. One of the greatest benefits is the ability to learn from experiences and see them as opportunities. When life is viewed from this perspective, it’s easier to adapt to new situations and remain hopeful in the face of uncertain times.
Don’t hesitate to ask for help when needed. There are support groups and programs in your community that can help in stress and crisis, as well as countless resources online and in print. Your EAP or other employer-provided counseling service is an excellent source of ideas for developing resilience.
You don’t have to wait for another crisis to practice building resiliency. Start building your bounce-back potential today.
Want to talk to a counselor today about this?
by Renae Brumbaugh, MFA September 06, 2020
Loving Ourselves Through the Pandemic
The year 2020 has brought fear, anxiety, and financial difficulties. It’s also brought about a need for heightened self-awareness. Reduced incomes and difficult job and health situations have encouraged us to be kind, to volunteer, and to give back. But sometimes, it’s easier to show care and concern for others than it is for ourselves.
In order to get through this 2020 marathon, we must practice self-care. Whether it’s physical, mental emotional, or spiritual, a little care goes a long way toward a healthier, more peaceful mindset. Be kind to yourself by practicing the following self-care tips:
Physical:
Mental:
Emotional:
Spiritual:
With all the self-care do’s, there are also a few of don’ts to keep in mind.
One day this pandemic will end. It probably won’t be tomorrow. While we wait, it’s important to be kind to ourselves as well as others. Remember, in order to love our neighbors as we love ourselves, we have to first love ourselves.
by Lyle Labardee September 06, 2020
Change is all around us and stress is the brain and body’s way of responding to it. Whether we interpret change as real or perceived, short or long-term, stress is the result.
Stress is not intended to be harmful. In fact, it does serve a purpose. Your body’s stress response is meant to protect you from danger. It releases chemicals and hormones to aid the “fight or flight” response. This quickens your pulse, increases your breathing rate, and tenses your muscles. Oxygen shoots toward your brain and your immune system is charged with a short boost.
While stress can be beneficial, our bodies aren’t event such as an unexpected job loss, death, illness, or divorce. Lastly, traumatic stress follows a disastrous event like an accident, acts of war, assault, or a natural disaster.
RESILIENCE
While we don’t always have control over stressful events in our lives, we can manage how we react to them. Resilience is the ability to adapt well over time in response to stressful events. How well do you “bounce back”?
Y N Do you have access to supportive family and friend relationships?
Y N Are you readily able to make a plan and stick to it? Can you problem solve?
Y N Do you believe in yourself and your abilities?
Y N Can you identify and regulate strong, emotional responses?
Y N Do you open up and communicate with your support network?
TYPES OF STRESS
There are three main types of stress we experience: routine, sudden event, and traumatic. Routine stress occurs with the regular changes in our work, school, or family environments. Another type of stress happens from a sudden and unexpected negative event such as loss of job or investment. Chronic stress takes a toll, and over time prevents your body from returning to its normal functioning state. As a result, people might experience high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, or mental illnesses like depression or an anxiety disorder.
ACTION STEPS
Practicing the following healthy habits will help you develop resilience and cope with life’s stressors:
✓ Pay attention to your body and where you’re
feeling physical tension.
✓ Be mindful of your limits and learn to say no
once in a while.
✓ Clarify your values and prioritize tasks and
responsibilities accordingly.
✓ Focus on the positive and what you have
accomplished.
✓ Eat healthy foods, limit caffeine and alcohol,
get rest and exercise regularly.
✓ Relax your body and focus your thoughts
on whatever is uplifting for you.
✓ Schedule an appointment for a check-up
with your primary care provider.
KEEP IN MIND
Life is challenging and can be very stressful. You’re not alone, and help is available. Consider reaching out to your health care provider and engaging other counseling resources for guidance on next steps.
What steps will you take today to be well and live life more fully?
by Ani Kazarian May 10, 2020
Recognizing Eating Disorders
Eating disorders are serious yet treatable mental and physical illnesses that can affect people of any age, gender, race, body shape, and weight. Eating disorders include a wide range of conditions, such as anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating. There is no single known cause for eating disorders, and research shows that its development is impacted by biological, psychological, and sociocultural factors.
Eating disorders are serious and can significantly impact one’s physical and mental health. The earlier an eating disorder is detected, the greater the chance for recovery. It is therefore important to be aware of some of the signs and symptoms that can warn you of whether you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder.
Signs and Symptoms of Eating Disorders
Below are two lists of some common behavioral and physical signs and symptoms that can be observed in people with eating disorders. It is important to remember as you read through these lists that most people with eating disorders will not have all of these signs and symptoms. It is also important to note that someone with an eating disorder may have other signs or symptoms that aren’t listed here.
As eating disorders are both mental and physical illness, and have consequences on one’s psychological and physical wellness, there are both behavioral and physical symptoms listed below.
Common behavioral symptoms of eating disorders include:
Common physical symptoms of eating disorders include:
There is a wide range of symptoms displayed by someone affected by an eating disorder. It is important to recognize the signs and symptoms as early detection increases the chance of recovery and can reduce the impact on one’s overall health and wellbeing.
Treatment and Recovery from Eating Disorders
Along with medical and psychiatric monitoring, treating an eating disorder generally involves a combination of psychological and nutritional counseling. Because eating disorders impact several areas of one’s life and the causes of eating disorders are varied, successful treatment must address the eating disorder symptoms, medical consequences, and the psychological, biological, and social factors in one’s life. Nutritional counseling is a necessary step in recovery as well as planning for healthy choices in the long-term.
Recovery is possible for those who have an eating disorder and getting diagnosed is the first step toward recovery. While people with long-standing eating disorders can and do recover, the best results are seen in those who detect and treat an eating disorder before it becomes chronic. Recognizing eating disorders as early as possible is essential.
Sources:
https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/warning-signs-and-symptoms
by Ani Kazarian April 05, 2020
Coping with Grief during COVID-19
People usually think of grief happening from the loss of a loved one. But grief can happen from any major change or loss. Grief can be experienced as feelings of shock, sadness, anger, and confusion. Grief can make people feel overwhelmed, lose interest in activities they used to enjoy, sleep less or more, or have changes in their appetite. These are normal responses to loss or change.
During COVID-19, many people may be experiencing grief because of the loss of their way of life before the closures and social distancing regulations. People can even feel grief for plans that have been delayed or canceled. These changes may seem less important compared to the loss of life, but the reality is that life suddenly doesn’t feel normal anymore. This is a big change and many people are grieving.
Below is a list of some things that you can do to help get through the grief:
Be kind to yourself and others. Find ways to connect as much as possible. Remember, we will get through this together.
Losing a Loved One during COVID-19
Grief during COVID-19 is more difficult because we aren’t able physically be there for one another as we deal with the emotions. Feelings of sadness are normal after the death of a loved one, but During COVID-19, there is the additional challenge of social distancing regulations, and even quarantine, that prevent us from attending the service.
Traditions of grieving together and holding a funeral or memorial are helpful in processing the thoughts and emotions that come from such experiences. We are not able to share grief in ways that we have in the past. It can be helpful to find other ways of supporting one another during COVID-19.
Below are some suggestions that may help:
These suggestions cannot replace the traditions of mourning together, but in such unprecedented times, we must search for solutions in any form possible.
Sources:
https://www.apa.org/topics/grief
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2691160/
https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/coping-after-disaster-trauma
https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/servicesandsupport/grief
by Ani Kazarian, MFA April 05, 2020
Home Schooling During COVID-19 School Closures
While you may be finding yourself unexpectedly thrown into home schooling your child or children, aged anywhere from five to 17 years old, it is important to know that more than two million kids are home schooled each year in the United States and that this number has been steadily increasing in recent years. In short, you are not alone and there is a lot of information available to help you develop best practices in home schooling as you adjust to everything else that may be changing in your world due to the impact of COVID-19.
Logistics
Providing structured learning can help your child adjust to the current circumstances of being home schooled. These tried and true strategies, used by home schooling parents for years, provides the structure necessary to keep the household running smoothly, even while parents tend to the new demands of working from home.
Home Schooling while Working from Home
These are stressful times as many parents are facing health and financial concerns, adjusting to working from home with the entire family, and facilitating emergency home schooling. Here are a few tips that may help:
Informal Learning Opportunities
In addition to making sure that your child is completing any assigned work from their school or district, try to take their personal interests into account and facilitate informal learning opportunities as supplemental activities. Many public libraries and museums have made their materials and exhibits available online and may even provide virtual tours.
Examples of informal learning activities include:
Finding healthy and enjoyable ways to have fun will help everyone relax. There’s no need to pressurize yourself and your kids — you can do this!
Sources:
https://responsiblehomeschooling.org/covid/
by Lyle Labardee April 05, 2020
Coping With A Loved One's Suicide
When a loved one dies by suicide, it is common to feel shocked, confused, angry, sad, or any combination of emotions. Due to the stigma surrounding suicide, survivors might have a difficult time reaching out to find support to help process through the grief.
Immediate Considerations
Losing a loved one to suicide is a shock in itself. While nothing can prepare you for this situation, knowing the following, or sharing them with others, can be helpful.
When planning the funeral, some funeral homes or religious beliefs may not be in the habit of handling deaths by suicide. Make sure to speak with funeral homes and any clergy members involved to make sure that your loved one’s death will be treated with support and dignity.
Coping with Suicide Grief
Grief is a complex process of emotions, memories, and adjustments. There is no right or wrong way to feel, and most suicide survivors report feeling some of the following:
Grief following a death by suicide is complex. Often, survivors feel like they cannot talk about it, because of how suicide is perceived in society. Survivors may often feel angry at the deceased, which can cause confusion since they are also sad about the death. Suicide can also cause survivors to feel traumatized, as the sudden and sometimes violent nature can leave lasting thoughts and memories that are hard to ignore.
These factors, and more, can compound the intense feelings of grief and can prevent any healing from occurring. If you are coping with suicide grief, one of the first things to do is find a support system. Handling grief alone is not a beneficial method, so consider speaking with a trusted family member or friend, a mental health professional, or joining a support group for suicide survivors. There are many resources available and can be found through agencies like the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, which can be found online at www.afsp.org.
Helping Others Cope with Suicide Grief
If someone you know is a suicide survivor, there are things that you can do to help. While it might seem most comfortable to give them space, this could leave them feeling isolated and ashamed. You may not feel totally competent in helping others with suicide grief, but some of the following activities can be a great help.
Sources
by Ani Kazarian April 05, 2020
Spiritual Wellness: Your Meaning and Purpose
Spirituality is the term often used in regard to matters of faith, the human spirit, and beliefs about a higher power, or powers. While in the past spirituality was generally believed to be a personal matter, changes in cultural and societal norms have shifted this dynamic and the role of spirituality in overall physical and mental wellness is recognized in healthcare, education, and the workplace. In fact, organizations such as the Center for Disease Control and the American Cancer Society even recognize the role of spirituality in a wide range of areas, from treating cancer to overcoming tobacco dependence.
Developing one’s spirituality is thought to be a significant factor in achieving and maintaining physical, mental, and social wellness. Activities that can help you focus on your spiritual beliefs or relationships include:
The ways in which you can develop or deepen your spiritual wellness are nearly endless and you may even find a combination of approaches works best for you. Regardless of how you connect to spiritual wellness, doing so may help you find meaning in your day to day activities and purpose for your life overall.
Meaning and Purpose
The belief in a meaning and purpose to life can be described as the way we make sense of the world and the significance we place on what happens in our lives. While the meaning that each of us ascribe to our lives is often varied and differs from one person to the next, research has found that generally having a belief that life has meaning is a significant factor in psychological wellbeing and one’s ability to overcome challenges and obstacles in life.
Believing in meaning beyond the day to day logistics of working, going to school, grocery shopping, and so forth helps you feel that there is a purpose to what you are doing and your life overall. Ascribing purpose to challenges and hardships that we encounter can help deal with such circumstances in a positive way.
Cultivating Meaning and Purpose
More and more research is finding that having meaning and purpose in life is closely linked to overall health and wellness and positive functioning. It is therefore important to cultivate meaning and purpose in your life. Below is a list of questions to ask yourself as you explore who you are and what you can do to feel that life has meaning and purpose. Many of these questions may seem to direct you into altruistic endeavors, and that’s because a big part of feeling that our lives having meaning and purpose comes down to being able to help others.
The meaning and purpose you believe in for your own life may change overtime or evolve with your other belief systems. It may be important to revisit these activities at different points in your life as you continue to develop your spiritual wellness.
Sources:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4580713/
https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/campaign/tips/partners/faith/index.html
https://www.cancer.org/latest-news/nurture-your-emotional-health.html
by Ani Kazarian April 05, 2020
Caregivers: How to Reach Out for Help
Caregivers are those who help to take care of the needs of another. This can be taking care of children, the elderly, or someone with a chronic illness or disability. A caregiver may be someone who is taking care of their parent, sibling, grandparent, relative, or friend, or a professional who is hired to care for someone.
Regardless of whether the nature of the relationship is professional or personal, caregivers provide assistance in a wide range of tasks and activities, such as:
There are many benefits to helping in this way. Research has found that caregivers generally experience a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction in being useful. There are however times that caregivers themselves need help. In addition to the emotional benefits of caring for others, caregivers are found to be at an increased risk for stress, anxiety, depression, and even lowered immune function.
The Risks of Being a Caregiver
As caregivers are at risk of developing emotional, psychological, and physical conditions, it is important that action is taken to ensure one’s wellbeing while providing for the needs of others. Though it may be difficult to pay attention to one’s own needs while caring for the needs of others, it is important that caregivers recognize when they are in need of help.
Some common signs in caregivers who are stressed or may be in need of help include:
When noticing the above-mentioned feelings or behaviors, it is important that caregivers take action to maintain their mental and physical wellness, and that they ask for help.
Asking for Help
Whether you are a professional caregiver, or you are taking care of family or friends, it is important to know that you don’t have to do it all by yourself. Below are some options to explore as you recognize the need for more help.
While some of the options listed here may be able to provide help with the physical and timely needs that may ease the level of responsibility that is on the caregiver, other options may help with the emotional and psychological needs of the caregiver. The mental, physical, and emotional wellbeing of the caregiver are all equally important and it is important to balance these needs in order to continue being able to care for others. Help is available if the stress of caregiving is impacting the overall wellness of the caregiver.
Sources:
https://www.cdc.gov/aging/caregiving/index.htm
https://acl.gov/programs/support-caregivers/national-family-caregiver-support-program
by Ani Kazarian April 05, 2020
Maternity Leave Stigma
Women take maternity leave to bond with their child and recover from childbirth, and any related complications, without fear of losing their job, benefits, company seniority, and so forth, which are protected under the Family Medical Leave Act. These protections, however, are not able to sever the stigma that many women find is still attached to taking maternity leave.
Though it is against the law to not hire or to fire someone who can perform the basic functions of the job just because she is pregnant or on maternity leave, the reality remains that many women in the workforce are treated unfairly after revealing news of their pregnancy or going on maternity leave.
Maternity Leave Stigma
While working mothers are able to take maternity leave and are protected against job loss, their careers may be impacted by the stigma around actually taking maternity leave. Many women who take maternity leave report being treated differently at work upon their return. For instance, close relationships with colleagues become distant and strained, or clients and projects that were closely managed prior to maternity leave are reassigned and not returned.
Due to the stigma around taking maternity leave, some working mothers do not take the 12 weeks of maternity leave that is allotted by law. Many return to work early and report feeling pressured not to take more time off.
What You Can Do
Returning to work after maternity leave is a time of high stress for most parents. While many are excited to return to work, they are concerned about childcare options, nursing, being away from their child for long hours, and several other issues. The stigma around maternity leave creates even more stress for returning mothers as there is often a sense of not knowing what to expect.
Some companies offer great support to new mothers returning from maternity leave, including flexible hours, telecommuting, and other benefits. If this is not the case at your company, or you aren’t sure whether or not it is, speak to your direct manager or a Human Resource representative about what options may be available to you. While you may not be able to change the stigma around maternity leave, taking an active step toward open communication with your employer may be of help. Below is a list of topics that serve as an example of points you can discuss.
Maternity Leave Points of Discussion:
For many women, taking maternity leave and returning from leave are both exciting and stressful times. While some company cultures still maintain a stigma around taking maternity leave, the trend is changing and many companies do offer support to new mothers returning to work. There are also some things that you can do ahead of time to help set up work expectations while you are on leave and as you return.
Sources:
https://www.womenshealth.gov/pregnancy/youre-pregnant-now-what/know-your-pregnancy-rights
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/labor-and-delivery/in-depth/working-life/art-20045470
by Ani Kazarian April 05, 2020
The Importance of Mental Health
Mental health is defined as our emotional, psychological, and social wellbeing. Basically, mental health refers to how we think, feel, and act. Mental health is an important part of our lives and our overall wellbeing at any age. It impacts how we deal with stress and the decisions we make in our lives.
If experiencing mental health issues, our thoughts, moods, and behaviors can all be affected. Some examples of mental health illnesses or conditions are depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia.
Experiencing mental health problems is very common and there is help available. In fact, many people who experience a mental health problem are able to fully recover.
Why is Mental Health Important?
Mental and physical wellbeing are equally important to our overall health and wellness. It is important to take care of our mental health because experiencing problems in this area can affect all areas of our lives, including our physical health, relationships, career, and finances. For instance, research shows that mental illness can contribute to stroke, heart disease, and type 2 diabetes.
Achieving and maintaining positive mental health and wellness allows us to reach our potential in our personal and professional lives, cope with the stresses of life, build lasting relationships, and contribute to the overall wellness of our communities.
On the other hand, when our mental health is not at its best, we may retreat from the people and responsibilities in our lives, experience physical symptoms and unexplained pains, sleep too much or too little, and feel anxious, nervous, or scared.
Taking care of your mental health is important, and there are many things that you can do to ensure recovery if you are experiencing any problems.
What to Do if Experiencing Mental Health Problems
If you or someone you know are experiencing some of the feelings and behaviors listed below, it may be time to look into what you can do when experiencing mental health problems.
Someone experiencing a mental health problem may not have all of the symptoms listed above, or may exhibit some behaviors and moods that are not listed here. If you, or someone you know, are experiencing any of the behaviors or moods listed above and want to improve your mental health, there are several things that you can do.
There are many resources available to you, including calling a hotline, speaking to your medical doctor, or finding a counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist. Working with a professional to create a recovery plan can help someone struggling with a mental health problem to lead a self-directed life that feels meaningful and fulfilling. Often recovery will include counseling, therapy, group sessions, or medication, or a combination of these.
Achieve and Maintain Mental Health Wellness
To achieve and maintain mental health wellness, there are several things that we can do and commit to habit to help:
Mental health is an important contributor to your overall wellness, physical health, relationships, and career. Maintaining your mental wellness can help you lead a self-directed life filled with purpose and meaning.
Sources:
https://www.mentalhealth.gov/basics/what-is-mental-health
by Ani Kazarian April 05, 2020
Leaving an Abusive Relationship
Domestic abuse is defined as a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship. Every abusive relationship is different, but there is one commonality: the abusive partner does many things to establish and maintain power and control over their partner.
Domestic abuse can include physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation, emotional abuse, and economic deprivation. A relationship does not need to be violent to be abusive, but the danger of being seriously injured or killed greatly increases within relationships that include physical and sexual violence.
People who are in an abusive relationship may feel confused, afraid, angry, or trapped. All of these emotions are normal responses to abuse. If you are in an abusive relationship, you may also blame yourself for what is happening, but the truth is that you are never responsible for your partner’s abusive behaviors.
Despite promises and pleas from the abusive partner, change rarely occurs. Rather, the intensity and frequency of the abuse often increases and escalates over time.
How to Get out of an Abusive Relationship
Abusive partners often do and say things to shift the blame onto the victim or even deny that the abuse ever took place. There are many other reasons people stay in abusive relationships and leaving can often be very complicated.
Leaving can also be the most dangerous time for a victim of abuse. Because abuse is about power and control, leaving the relationship is the victim taking control and the abusive partner’s power is threatened. This could cause the abusive partner to retaliate in destructive ways.
If you are in an abusive relationship, there is help available to you. There are local, state, and national organizations dedicated to helping you leave, be in a safe space, and gain control of your life and wellbeing. These organizations can help you create a safety plan.
A safety plan will map out preparing to leave, when you leave, and after you leave. It will plan ways to cope with emotions, tell friends and family about the abuse, take legal action, and more. Having a safety plan laid out in advance can help you protect yourself in stressful moments.
Preparing to Leave
As mentioned above, leaving an abusive relationship can escalate the abuse. It is important to take certain actions as you are preparing to leave:
Leaving an Abusive Relationship
As you create your safety plan, you can make a plan for how and where you will escape quickly. You may ask for a police escort or stand-by when you leave. If you have to leave in a hurry, try to take as many of the following items as possible:
After you Leave
There are precautions to take after you leave to keep you and your family safe. Below are some examples, though you may want to collaborate with domestic abuse organizations that can help you create a detailed safety plan specific to your situation.
Though leaving an abusive relationship can be complicated and require many changes in your life, there is help available to you for every step along the way.
Sources:
https://www.thehotline.org/help/
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm
by Ani Kazarian April 05, 2020
Digital Toxicity and Smartphone Addiction
Do you feel panic when you realize your phone isn’t in arms reach? Do you feel frustration and anger if the internet is down or you find yourself somewhere without WI-FI? The overuse of digital devices that interferes with our daily lives as well as the use of digital devices that causes anxiety, fear, dread, or overdependence is known as digital toxicity. Digital toxicity has become a widespread concern as 1 in 5 Americans report that technology use is a source of stress for them.
Similar to digital toxicity, smartphone addiction is an overdependence on or overuse of digital devices, specifically the smartphone. A smartphone addiction can interfere with your daily tasks and attention, such as driving, working, sleeping, and being aware of your surroundings. If left untreated, a smartphone addiction can cause harm to yourself and others.
Digital toxicity or smartphone addiction can interfere with our performance at work or school, developing and maintaining personal relationships, and even our safety and wellbeing. For instance, texting while driving poses a threat to yourself and others, and is an example of dangerous digital toxicity as the driver’s use of a smartphone is interfering with the task of driving safely.
It is important to recognize if you are experiencing digital toxicity or smartphone addiction and to take steps to help yourself regain independence from digital devices.
Digital Toxicity and Smartphone Addiction Symptoms
If you or someone you know are struggling with digital toxicity or smartphone addiction, you may display some of the following symptoms:
Emotional Responses to Digital Toxicity and Smartphone Addiction
If someone is experiencing digital toxicity or smartphone addiction, how is their emotional health impacted? There are several emotional responses to digital toxicity and smartphone addiction, including the following:
Creating Healthy Boundaries with Digital Devices
Healthy boundaries are constructs that we live by based on our values. We all develop boundaries differently in all areas of our lives — boundaries with friends, family, coworkers, food, exercise, and so forth. If we fail to create boundaries or honor them, we risk becoming powerless in that area of our lives. In order to maintain control of our behaviors and emotions, and to ensure that they are in alignment with our values, we must create healthy boundaries for ourselves.
With the amount of information available on the ways in which smartphones and other digital devices impact our emotional wellbeing, personal relationships, and work performance, it is important that we now consider establishing healthy boundaries with our digital devices as well. Below are the ways in which we may do so:
While these suggestions will not remove the use of smartphones or other digital devices in your life, they can help create healthy boundaries around how you use such devices and how much you use them.
There is no doubt that technology is here to stay and that there are very real benefits and advantages to using digital devices; but there is also no doubt that their overuse can lead to addiction and digital toxicity. Begin by assessing your use of digital devices and whether you may benefit from creating healthier boundaries in this area of your life.
Sources:
https://www.apa.org/monitor/2018/11/cover-misuse-digital
https://www.heart.org/idc/groups/heart-public/@wcm/@swa/documents/downloadable/ucm_481830.pdf
by Ani Kazarian April 05, 2020
Relocating for Work
Many people find themselves in the position of facilitating a job relocation. It may be that you have taken a new job, are part of a restructure in your organization, or have been promoted within your current company and you are now relocating for your new role. The relocation may be somewhat local, across the country, or abroad.
Regardless of why you are relocating, it can be a stressful undertaking, though it can also be an exciting opportunity. Making the best of this situation will likely require planning and preparation. Below are lists of things that you can do to ensure a successful job relocation.
Before the Move
Before you actually begin planning for the move, you want to make sure that you have all of the information that you need. Here are some questions to consider:
These questions are only some of the things you may need to consider prior to moving. In this stage, you want to collect as much information as possible on what you can expect in your new location as well as what resources you will have available to you as you move and settle in.
Once you have prepared for the move, there are several things that you can do to ensure a successful process during the move.
During the Move
As you find yourself in the midst of packing and moving, be sure to hire a reliable moving company, have internet and phone services set up in your new location, cancel all such services in your current residence if you will no longer need them, and most of all, stay organized.
There are many details to attend to as you are relocating for work, but the experience can be a successful one as long as you stay organized.
After the Move
Regardless of how exciting of an opportunity you may have with the relocation, uprooting your life can be challenging and stressful. Give it time — experts advise that the first six months of any move are the most challenging. If you are moving alone, you may want to enroll in classes or other activities outside of work to help create a new social circle or support system.
Sources:
https://hbr.org/2018/12/how-to-decide-whether-to-relocate-for-a-job
https://hbr.org/2018/08/the-who-where-and-why-of-moving-for-a-new-job
by Ani Kazarian April 05, 2020
Retirement Planning
With increasing lifespans and earlier retirements becoming more common, we have more flexibility in choosing how we want to spend our retirement. Assuming that you have financially planned for retirement and finances are not the major determining factor in choosing how to spend your retirement, there are many other factors to consider. There are countless questions to consider when we begin thinking about how we want to spend our retirement.
It is important to think about these points and to plan how you wish to spend your retirement because, for many, retirement means transitioning out of the role that we conducted for decades and this can cause feelings of lacking purpose or meaning. Additionally, retirement also means a change in social activity as you no longer spend time with coworkers every day. Planning how you wish to spend your retirement can help counter these feelings, and help in transitioning away from the work routine you’ve had for decades with new and fulfilling experiences.
These questions are merely scratching the surface when we begin planning for how we want to spend our retirement. Once we decide the major puzzle pieces of where we are going to live and who we will be spending most of our time with, we can get into the questions that will shape our days in retirement.
Choosing How to Spend Retirement
When choosing how to spend our retirement, it is helpful to think about how we want to spend our time by breaking down what we are doing throughout the day.
At the root of these questions is discovering what brings you joy and a sense of security in your retirement. When you transition out of the life that you have known for decades, what parts of it do you want to hold on to and what new experiences do you want to have?
Choosing how to spend your retirement can be an exciting time, and if there aspects that you are unclear on, reach out to experts who can help. A coach can help you achieve goals and financial planners can help you set realistic expectations, counselors can help with any feelings of anxiety over all the changes.
Preparing and working with experts can help make choosing how to spend your retirement an exciting endeavor.
Sources:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6171791/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3696198/
by Ani Kazarian April 05, 2020
Understanding Mental Health in Teens and Young Adults
College is a time of transition and can be stressful for students faced with new social and academic challenges alongside a new level of independence. Managing one’s mental health at this time is multifaceted and very important.
Mental health conditions are extremely common, and research shows that one in five young adults will experience a mental health condition in college. It is also important to know that 75% of all mental health conditions begin by age 24, which is why college is a crucial time in understanding mental health and how to maintain mental wellness.
When deciding where to go for college, consider the decisions you make from the perspective of what environments and situations may be best in maintaining your mental wellness. There are several factors that can impact one’s mental wellbeing, including:
Managing Mental Wellness
It is important to take care of our mental health because experiencing problems in this area can affect all areas of our lives, including our physical health, academic performance, friendships, and work. Finding ways to maintain mental wellness in college can have a positive impact on your overall college experience.
Below are some ways in which you can take care of your mental health in college:
Managing a Mental Health Condition in College
In addition to maintaining mental wellness, if a student has a mental health condition upon entering college, there are many steps that can be taken to ensure successful management of the condition.
Managing a mental health condition in college may present you with new challenges but there are many resources available to you. Planning ahead, preparing carefully, and taking advantage of resources can go a long way in managing mental health conditions and maintaining mental wellness.
Sources:
https://www.nami.org/Find-Support/Teens-Young-Adults/Managing-a-Mental-Health-Condition-in-College
by Ani Kazarian April 05, 2020
Legal and Financial Planning for People with Alzheimer's Disease
Diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease
When diagnosed with a serious illness, it is important to examine legal and financial arrangements and to make plans for the future in light of the present circumstances. When someone is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, this process of examination and planning becomes even more important as the diagnosis is one that carries an expectation of declining mental and physical health.
While being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease is a difficult time that calls for many unexpected changes and decisions, it is of utmost importance that legal and financial planning is conducted as soon as possible. There are some legal and financial documents available that can help to ensure that one’s personal wishes, financial decisions, or end-of-life healthcare decisions are carried out, such as a will, living trust, or advance directives. Experts recommend retaining a lawyer when preparing advance planning documents.
Planning with a Lawyer
Every state has different laws, documents, forms, and resources available for legal and financial planning. Lawyers who are knowledgeable on specific state laws can help with legal and financial planning in a way that ensures the person and their family’s wishes are carried out.
A lawyer can assist with:
Advance Healthcare Directives
Advance directives for healthcare are documents that communicate the healthcare wishes of a person with Alzheimer’s disease so that these can be carried out even if the person can no longer make or communicate these decisions. Below are examples of documents that can be used for advance healthcare directives:
There may be other documents in addition to the ones mentioned above that can assist in more particular legal planning for someone with Alzheimer’s disease. It may be best to work with an attorney in preparing legal and financial planning so that documents and possible medical scenarios are not overlooked.
Advance Financial Directives
Advance directives for financial management are similar to the documents mentioned above but pertain to financial planning rather than medical. Financial and statement management documents must be created while the person with Alzheimer’s disease can still make these decisions.
Below are examples of documents commonly used in such situations:
It is recommended that when someone is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, they move into legal and financial planning as quickly as possible. In some instances it may take time to implement these documents or it may be that a person’s mental health declines more rapidly than expected.
There are many variables when it comes to legal and financial planning for people with Alzheimer’s disease, which is why experts recommend moving quickly and working with an attorney.
Sources:
https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/legal-and-financial-planning-people-alzheimers
by Lyle Labardee April 05, 2020
When a Loved One is Incarcerated
There are often emotional, relational, and financial implications when a loved one is incarcerated. The time served does not only affect the incarcerated. Family members commonly express feelings of guilt, shame, or embarrassment. Whether the imprisoned is a spouse, partner, or dependent, emotional concerns for their well-being are normal and can take over daily life.
Beyond emotional adjustments, family members must manage new expectations and routines. What will the “new normal” look like? Relationships may feel the strain as families sort through the logistics of visitations, communication, finances, or other challenges. Whether you have an imprisoned family member or friend, you may find the following information helpful.
When a Child is Incarcerated
Having an incarcerated child is a reality no parent is hoping to experience. As much as you find yourself waiting for phone calls or worrying about your child, it’s important to continue to live your life. There are caring individuals ready to help you transition during this difficult family time.
An Incarcerated Spouse or Partner
Imprisonment is not an easy life circumstance. Support is necessary for both you and your incarcerated spouse/partner. Consider the following as you determine how much support you’re able to give while maintaining your daily responsibilities.
It is helpful for families to remember that today is not forever. Though feelings of anger and blame are natural, be courageous and seek to forgive your loved one for choices made. Remind yourself why you have hope for the incarcerated. Use this circumstance to plan where you’d like your life to go from here. Write a new ending. Change is possible, and your future is hopeful.
Sources:
https://oureverydaylife.com/cope-loved-one-2036873.html
http://www.prweb.com/releases/2013/4/prweb10679159.htm
https://www.fashionbeyondforty.com/2017/02/how-to-cope-when-loved-one-is-in-prison.html
http://thebereavementacademy.com/grieving-incarcerated-loved-one/
by Lyle Labardee April 05, 2020
When a Loved One Dies
Dealing with the emotions that follow the death of a loved one can make any task difficult. Planning the funeral and facilitating the process of getting matters in order can add stress to an already challenging situation. Having some direction can help to make sure that the proper steps are taken, and that nothing important is overlooked.
Immediate Checklist
After a loved one dies, first reactions can vary from depression to anger to shock, and anything in between. While you might feel lost, confused, or helpless, there are some important steps that need to be taken as soon as possible following the death of your loved one. The sooner these actions can be carried out, the sooner you can guarantee that communication is moving forward that will work to honor the life of the deceased, and protect assets and other wishes through legal and administrative matters.
Funeral Assistance
Some people might have prepared for funeral expenses by paying early on. If you are not familiar with funeral costs, familiarize yourself with the Funeral Rule, enforced by the Federal Trade Commission, so you know what funeral homes are obligated to do to ensure that prices are fair.
If you find yourself in need of assistance in paying for a funeral, consider these options:
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by Lyle Labardee April 05, 2020
Talking to Youth about Healthy Sexual Boundaries
Talking about sex can be uncomfortable, especially when talking with youth. However, even young children are able to identify the anatomical differences between males and females. This awareness comes because humans are sexual beings and there are obvious facts that can be observed to confirm this. It is how our bodies are made and how we grow our families and world.
What is not apparent is how and when bodies and body parts are to be touched. This information needs to be taught and discussed to help each youth develop their own healthy sexual boundaries.
Some Statistics
In 2015, it was estimated that 41 percent of adolescents have had sex. The younger a teen starts having sex, the higher the chance that risky sexual behaviors can occur. STDs, sexual assault, rape, abusive relationships, and other circumstances can leave a lasting impact on youth. While there is no way to guarantee that these issues will not occur, the more information is provided to youth to make educated decisions, the greater the possibility that they will avoid risky choices and situations.
When to Talk
Some parents or guardians feel uncomfortable approaching the topic of sex with youth. However, due to its relevance and importance, it might be helpful to think about placing the safety of the youth over the level of comfort that is felt. Providing information that is educational and developmentally appropriate is the best route to go. You can start talking about and encouraging boundaries with children, by helping them to have control over how they are touched. It may be helpful to do some research, but it does not take an expert to have a successful conversation. Stay calm, answer questions accurately, and look up any answers that you are unsure about. Children and teens are going to learn about sex from somewhere, and making yourself one of those sources can make a huge difference in their lives.
Types of Boundaries
Having healthy sexual boundaries means addressing all of the ways that sexuality can manifest itself; emotionally, mentally, physically, and digitally.
Emotional/Mental
It can be helpful to bring up the topic of how sex is not just physical, but also an emotional and mental decision. For many youth, the idea of sex is both exciting and scary. It can be hard to know exactly how something will affect you when you have not done it before. Youth hear and see countless stories about how others are engaging in relationships and in sexual acts. They then have certain reactions to these stories. Some youth may feel pressured into having sex, which may have started with becoming too emotionally intimate with a partner. Other teens might feel lost, confused, or be struggling with self-esteem. Helping to identify what emotional and mental boundaries need to exist can take the form of asking questions such as:
Physical
Enforcing physical boundaries can seem like the most concrete, but as emotions and sensations take over, it can be difficult to stand firm. While it is important to teach youth to know their own physical boundaries, it is also important to teach about consent and respecting the boundaries of others. Some questions to discuss include:
Digital
In the current age of technology and social media, sexting, posting sexual pictures online, or discussing sexual topics are common. Questions to ask youth include:
Other Valuable Tips and Topics
With all of the possible topics to discuss, it can seem overwhelming. Some of the most important topics to cover include:
Sources
by Lyle Labardee April 05, 2020
Mindfulness at Work
Mindfulness has many definitions but one common theme: being present and aware within the current moment. Based in Eastern thoughts and traditions, mindfulness seeks to help people simplify by delegating focus to one task at a time. In the current world, multi-tasking and efficiency seem to be all the rage, but can leave people feeling exhausted, overworked, distracted, and incomplete.
Benefits of Mindfulness
Mindfulness steers you away from judgmental thoughts, distractions, multi-tasking, and fixating on the past or future. It takes some discipline to put it into practice, but the more often it is practiced, the more likely one will experience the benefits. Mindfulness has been known to help improve sleep, decrease stress, and lower blood pressure. It also has a place in aiding mental wellness, helping to fight against depression, anxiety, and other contributing symptoms. In addition to these benefits, redirecting your thoughts can help you practice good self-care, which leads to an improved mood and better self-image.
On the Job
Ever feel like you worked a solid day, but have no clue what you did? Incorporating mindfulness into the workday might make the difference between feeling satisfied and connected with work, or feeling like each day is monotonous and the tasks are never-ending. By taking a small amount of time during the day to shift your focus, it is possible to adjust your productivity and contentment. Some experts suggest spending 10 – 15 minutes in a mindfulness exercise, at least once a day. However, some exercises are as short as a minute. Mindfulness exercises draw your attention to specific internal or external phenomena, such as breathing, observing your surroundings, or turning off technology. The following are some popular mindfulness practices that can easily be added into the work day.
There are many other exercises that can be done to help aid your work day. Finding the right ones that work for you involve a little bit of research, as well as some trial and error. It is important to remember to start small when starting to add mindfulness into your workday. Mindfulness is a discipline and a process. While it may feel awkward at first, building this habit can pay dividends to greater self-awareness and happiness.
Having the Proper Tools
While mindfulness is achieving greater popularity, and can boast of many benefits, it is not the only tool to have in your tool belt. Mindfulness cannot replace critical thinking, time management, organization, or many of the other skills that contribute to work success. The goal of mindfulness is to help you gain another perspective and help you to better utilize the time and skills that you do possess. The more tools you have, the more likely you will be able to use it when needed.
Sources
by Lyle Labardee April 05, 2020
Hoarding Disorder
What is Hoarding?
Until 2013, hoarding was characterized under the diagnosis of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. In the new Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, also known as the DSM-5, the pattern of hoarding is now its own diagnosis, called Hoarding Disorder.
A person with Hoarding Disorder has difficulty getting rid of possessions, and experiences significant distress when forced to do so. This often leads to excessive storage of items in their home, which then leads to clutter and disorganization that interferes with normal living. In extreme cases, home appliances might be covered and unable to be used or sanitation and safety of the home might be compromised.
Hoarding Facts
How to Help a Person Who Hoards
Getting help for someone who hoards can be difficult. Most people do not seek treatment for hoarding, but for other issues, such as Anxiety and Depression, that are bothering them. While it might seem like cleaning out the home for this person would be a quick fix, it will not stop the hoarding behaviors. It might actually increase their tendency to hoard, and put them further from a healthy living environment and lifestyle.
Instead, begin by educating yourself about hoarding, and ask yourself how hoarding is benefiting the person. It can be helpful to speak with a mental health professional to come up with a plan of how to engage your loved one who hoards, into treatment. There are tools available, like the Clutter Image Rating Scale, that can help with this process. This tool can help them identify what their home looks like. And evaluate if their perspective is accurate. As with any mental health condition, true change will only be accomplished if the person has an internal desire to learn, understand, and try.
Treatment Options
Participating in counseling – also called psychotherapy, therapy, or talk therapy – is one of the primary methods of treating Hoarding Disorder. Counseling might include:
Hoarding: How to help a hoarder, how to get help
by Lyle Labardee April 05, 2020
Helping Others Cope With Grief
Death is a universal experience. Despite this fact, it can still leave us shocked, emotional, and confused. When someone we know or love is processing through grief, there are many things that we can say and do to help. It might be helpful to start with your own experience of grief and remembering how people were able to comfort and support you. However, the most important part of helping someone with grief is to keep in mind that each person can handle a loss differently.
Grief 101
Grief is the natural response to a loss. As you accompany a person through the grief journey, it is imperative that you remember that grief is not a direct path; each day, and possibly each hour within a day, can contain a multitude of emotions and reactions. Your friend might cycle between moments of “normalcy” where it is easier to accept the loss, and moments of anger, sadness, relief, guilt or denial. This is very normal and you can help them through this by meeting your friend where he/she is at the time. Practicing non-judgmental statements and behaviors can be most beneficial; often it is simply your presence that can provide the support that your friend needs.
There is no step-by-step method to “getting through” grief. In fact, depending on the loss that was experienced, the person might experience some symptoms of grief for years. Don’t put a time-limit on your friend’s feelings. Some other things to consider when helping someone include:
Helpful Tips
Actions speak louder than words, and sometimes an action is all that is needed. Too often, we think we have to say the exact right thing to help someone feel better, but the truth is that nothing you say is going to be able to fully take away the pain of the loss. While your words might briefly make your friend feel better, it is far more effective to continually offer your presence and help as the healing power that is needed. Just be there.
One very concrete way to offer help is to provide assistance with practical tasks. For example, laundry, eating, cleaning the house, mowing the lawn, shoveling the driveway, and other chores all need to be taken care of even when someone is grieving. Often, grief can take all of the energy away from this person, so offering to take care of a chore at a specific time for your friend can be very helpful.
You can also encourage the grieving person to make wise choices, and help him/her to process through certain decisions that arise. Often, this means listening for the majority of the conversation, and helping your friend to come up with answers on her own. You might also offer to participate in certain rituals or traditions with your friend, or help them to establish new ones.
Listening also comes into play as the person grieving might want to share stories. The stories might be repetitive, or they might be of a lot of different memories. The person may also need to talk about feelings that are coming up, or how hard it is to not feel connected to the deceased person anymore. Listen often, and encourage them to talk as much as they need to. If appropriate, it can also be helpful to share your own memories of the person that has died. Avoiding the deceased person’s name or memory will not help your friend, and bringing up the name or memory of the person will not remind your friend that the person is no longer alive. More than likely, your friend will already have thought about missing the deceased multiple times before you bring it up.
Knowing What to Say
Statements to Avoid
Sources
by Lyle Labardee April 05, 2020
Getting a Divorce
The reality of marriage and the day-to-day struggles lead some couples to pursue divorce. Many times, divorce simply brings different challenges. Before you make that final decision, it’s important to consider all divorce entails.
Thinking It Through
If you are contemplating a divorce you should ask yourself, and your spouse if possible, some potentially difficult questions. Both introspection and interpersonal communication with your spouse are key when evaluating the severity of a divorce. Use the following ideas to springboard these critical conversations.
Walking Through a Divorce
The divorce process varies by state. Usually one person is required to file a petition for divorce. After filing, the other party is formally served divorce papers. A limited amount of time is allowed for said party to respond in writing. Failure to do so may find the served spouse in default. When a party is in default, the case will continue without them, and the individual may lose their rights and ability to participate in the case.
Many states allow “no fault” divorces, meaning that one spouse did not necessarily wrong the other. No specific reasons need be offered either. Many couples simply claim “irreconcilable differences.”
Legal Expertise
Whether your divorce proceedings are emotionally-charged or civil, it’s important to have someone advocating for you. When looking to hire an attorney, consider interviewing at least three divorce attorneys to find one that fits your comfort level. A minimum of five years of experience practicing family and divorce law is highly beneficial. Look for a competent attorney, who is comfortable presenting before a judge if needed. In cases of abuse or domestic violence, a divorce lawyer can offer direction toward support agencies during the separation period.
A divorce attorney will meet with their client before drafting the divorce petition. Financial records, property, assets, and child custody/support will be discussed thoroughly. Your legal counsel will develop a plan for distribution of assets between both parties.
Not all divorce proceedings go to trial. Lawyers often assist couples in communication, negotiations, and other collaborative divorce techniques. If no agreements can be made, a case may proceed to trial where a judge will determine the outcome.
Protecting Assets
Starting over financially or separating joint accounts may seem daunting. Consider the following financial advice to begin your next life chapter.
If you or your spouse are unable or unwilling to continue the marriage, be prepared to make smart choices. Should your divorce proceedings go into litigation, actions and/or poor decisions will be scrutinized. Avoid gregarious partying, dating, and other reckless choices. Most certainly remember, if children are involved, this divorce will undoubtedly affect the whole family. Use this experience to draw closer with your children by modeling common courtesy, maturity, wisdom, and kindness.
Sources:
https://www.thespruce.com/what-to-consider-before-divorcing-with-kids-2997368
https://family-law.freeadvice.com/family-law/divorce_law/no-fault_divorce.htm
http://marriagecounselingblog.com/marriage-counseling/things-to-consider-before-you-divorce/
https://legalassistancecenter.org/get-help/divorce/
https://www.liveabout.com/things-to-do-before-you-file-for-a-divorce-1103072
by Lyle Labardee April 05, 2020
Financial Assistance for Caregivers
Changing physical, emotional, or mental circumstances happen in every family. You may find a loved one in need of additional help with housecleaning, meals, laundry, and personal care. Family caregivers can typically ease the burden for a loved one, enabling them to stay in their current home. While providing care minimizes a loved one’s challenges, caregivers often face their own struggles. Physical and emotional stressors, juggling work and caregiving responsibilities, and limited time for themselves and others are common issues. Additionally, financial hurdles and hardships affect many caregivers too.
Financial Assistance Options
There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to caregiver financial assistance. Researching the various programs available might seem daunting. Local Area Agencies on Aging or www.benefitscheckup.org are helpful starting points. Typically, financial assistance programs vary by state and may have restrictions. However, there are several programs that may be available, including: state, veterans, long-term care insurance, and caregiver contracts.
Points to Ponder
While it’s important to research your financial assistance options, there are additional considerations too. Tax benefits, program requirements, and how money is spent are key questions.
Planning Ahead
When acting as a caregiver, it’s important to practice good self-care. Constantly seeing to the needs of others can leave you depleted and hardly thinking of yourself. It’s important to consider your own future as well, both medical and financial.
The benefits of caregiving are immeasurable, both in shared memories and relationship. However, the financial costs are real. Knowing the caregiving options for financial aid can help you and your loved one make informed decisions in the days ahead. Focus more on what matters most by minimizing the monetary strain.
Sources:
http://www.caregivingcafe.com/information/benefits/
https://www.agingcare.com/caregiver-financial-support
Medicare.gov
https://www.caring.com/articles/activities-of-daily-living-what-are-adls-and-iadls
by Lyle Labardee April 05, 2020
Dealing With Pregnancy at Work
Being pregnant at work can add extra responsibilities and considerations to an already busy day. As the body works overtime to help the baby develop, it is important to take notice of how to stay rested, healthy, comfortable, and safe.
Staying Comfortable
Common pregnancy issues such as fatigue, swelling, and nausea don’t take a break just because you are at work. In order to continue working through a pregnancy, the first step is to speak with a doctor to learn about any specific concerns or issues to be aware of. Every pregnancy is different, but most women can continue working as long as they make some modifications.
Avoiding Hazards
When pregnant, your body can be more susceptible to certain hazards. It is smart to speak with your doctor as well as whoever directs health and safety at your workplace, to learn about what changes you should take to keep you and your baby safe. For a more complete list of hazards, check out www.cdc.gov and search for The National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH) and pregnancy in the workplace.
Pregnant Rights
Workplace discrimination and harassment does happen to women who are pregnant, but is illegal thanks to the Pregnancy Discrimination Act. This act helps to make sure that pregnant women are guaranteed equal treatment and a woman’s pregnancy cannot legally influence factors such as hiring, firing, pay, and benefits. Women who are pregnant and unable to work can, in some cases, be treated the same as any other employee with a disability. This might include work assigning less demanding tasks, or giving short-term leave. In some cases (depending on the size of the employer and how long the employee has been with the employer) a woman might qualify for the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) which would allow for 12 weeks of leave (paid or unpaid, based on what employee has earned). To learn more about pregnancy rights, search for “pregnancy rights” on the websites for the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission www.eeoc.gov or the U.S. Department of Labor www.dol.gov.
Sources
by Lyle Labardee April 05, 2020
Dealing with Grief on Special Occasions
For many people who are grieving the loss of a loved one, it can seem like there is nothing worse than the day to day heartache and struggles that accompany grief. Yet, many people find that certain days – such as birthdays, Holidays, or certain anniversaries – can trigger even more emotions and pain.
Reawakened Grief
Special occasions are normally a time for celebration. When you are grieving a loved one, it might feel quite the opposite. You might have mixed feelings of joy and sadness, or you might be angry. Perhaps you feel like there is no way you can attend the family get-together, and that you need to stay home. Whatever you may be feeling, know that having grief reawakened at certain times – expected or unexpected – is normal. You should also know that there are ways to prepare and handle any day that comes your way.
Unexpected Reminders
Sometimes a reminder of a deceased loved one can appear out of nowhere: a certain smell, song, or joke that you hear can be enough to trigger the longing and seem to take you back in time. While it might seem that these instances are a sign of weakness or a setback in your grief journey, these reminders are inevitable. Rather than judge them or look down on yourself, allow yourself to notice what is happening. Root yourself in the present moment, take some deep breaths, and ask yourself:
By paying attention to the present moment, you allow yourself to be mindful of the sensation. This helps you to slow down and orient yourself. It can also help you to make decisions that are helpful. The more you allow yourself to feel what is going on, the sooner it can pass since you are not ignoring, suppressing, or pushing it away.
Resources Used
by Ani Kazarian April 05, 2020
Workplace Etiquette
Etiquette is not a lost art. Knowing the proper ways to present yourself in a certain situation can help to make sure that you are moving toward success. This is especially true at work. If you have ever had a co-worker who ignores certain common courtesies, you know how distracting it can be.
Those distractions can also have negative effects on your team. Ignoring etiquette in the workplace can decrease productivity and team morale, and increase stress and frustration. Often, this becomes a never-ending cycle of negativity. To prevent this, there are many ways to practice workplace etiquette.
Return to the Basics
Saying “please” and “thank you” will provide a stable foundation in any situation. Whether you are the boss or a brand new intern, these words never go out of style. It is also a smart consideration to practice being on time – even early – for meetings. Once at your meetings, be fully present. This means putting your cell phone on silent and in your pocket, while participating in the topic being discussed.
Since each workplace is different, it is smart to review your employment manual, likely given to you when hired, to make sure that you are following workplace rules. This should cover appropriate clothing, technology use, and conflict management. If you do not know where your copy is, check with your Human Resources department. Making sure that you and your co-workers are on the same page can help prevent conflicts.
Cubicle Tips
Working in a cubicle environment provides its own set of rules as privacy is at a minimum. One of the main ways to approach a co-worker who works in a cubicle is to pretend that they are in their own office (because in a sense, they are). When it comes to your own actions at your desk, however, remember that you are not in an office. After taking those factors into account, follow some of these tips:
Things to Consider in Shared Spaces
There is more to consider than property and noise concerns at work. All of our senses are involved in our workday, and should be thought of when interacting with co-workers.
Conflict Resolution Tips
If you are noticing someone causing problems in your work place, consult your Employment Manual for how to resolve conflicts according to protocol. If appropriate, speak with your co-worker about their behavior. Approach them with respect and focus on the benefits that can arise from some changes, while also helping to seek solutions. If problems are not getting better, or are getting worse, speak to your supervisor or a representative from Human Resources to help resolve the issue.
Sources:
by Lyle Labardee April 05, 2020
Crime Victim Support
Victims of crime are often left with many questions: “Why did this happen? What do I do now? Who can I turn to for help?” With all of the questions, emotions, and confusion, it is possible to forget that there are programs in place to offer support. Crimes can include rape, drunk driving, domestic violence, abuse or neglect of children, human trafficking, and more. Often, the crime has effects that are felt far beyond the individuals involved. Support can take the form of financial, physical, emotional, or legal.
Valuable Information
In 1984, the Victims of Crime Act was amended. This act, in combination with the hard work of many advocates, has helped to make sure that victims of crime can receive help, and can continue to work toward positive change in the community. Like every citizen, victims have rights. In many states, the state constitution guarantees certain rights, including:
What to Expect
Since each experience and person is different, recovering from being a victim of crime can be difficult and takes time. It is important that victims are provided support right after the incident, and ongoing support to help with healing and working through any other processes that arise. Beneficial support to offer includes assuring physical safety, helping with emotional responses, and understanding financial and legal implications.
Being a victim of a crime is not a normal experience. It can happen to anyone and there is no “normal” way to respond. Emotional reactions to crime can include: shock or feeling numb, denial or disbelief, anger, depression, anxiety, or stress. In addition to these emotional states, it is possible that there are other mental or physical symptoms, often associated with the trauma of the crime.
Physical symptoms might include:
Mental symptoms might include:
Most people will experience some of these. If these symptoms last longer than a month and cause significant problems in your daily life, it is possible that may you have Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD. Some people who are victims of crime will develop PTSD, and others will have other long-term effects of a crisis.
Tips for Coping
If you or a loved one has been a victim of a crime, the following tips can help to provide a direction for coping in a healthy way.
Remind yourself that this is just a part of your life. Much like a roller coaster or the changing of the seasons, this period of your life will not last forever. While you may have memories or symptoms from the event that last, you can and will move forward from this event if you find healthy and helpful ways to cope.
Support
Programs are available to help offer support and to help cover expenses incurred from the after effects of crime. These programs are often either state-funded, or non-profit organizations. Expenses might include hospital bills, therapy, funeral costs, or lost wages. It is also common for programs to provide support services such as crisis intervention, emergency shelter, transportation, advocacy for criminal justice, or counseling. The Office for Victims of Crime is run by the U.S. Office of Justice. On its website are resources for victims, headlines, and other valuable information. It also has a national listing of service providers that is regularly evaluated and updated. This can be found at: http://ovc.ncjrs.gov/findvictimservices.
Sources
by Lyle Labardee April 05, 2020
Helping Suicide Survivors
When a loved one dies by suicide, it is common to feel shocked, confused, angry, sad, or any combination of emotions. Due to the stigma surrounding suicide, survivors might have a difficult time reaching out to find support to help process through the grief.
Immediate Considerations
Losing a loved one to suicide is a shock in itself. While nothing can prepare you for this situation, knowing the following, or sharing them with others, can be helpful.
When planning the funeral, some funeral homes or religious beliefs may not be in the habit of handling deaths by suicide. Make sure to speak with funeral homes and any clergy members involved to make sure that your loved one’s death will be treated with support and dignity.
Coping with Suicide Grief
Grief is a complex process of emotions, memories, and adjustments. There is no right or wrong way to feel, and most suicide survivors report feeling some of the following:
Grief following a death by suicide is complex. Often, survivors feel like they cannot talk about it, because of how suicide is perceived in society. Survivors may often feel angry at the deceased, which can cause confusion since they are also sad about the death. Suicide can also cause survivors to feel traumatized, as the sudden and sometimes violent nature can leave lasting thoughts and memories that are hard to ignore.
These factors, and more, can compound the intense feelings of grief and can prevent any healing from occurring. If you are coping with suicide grief, one of the first things to do is find a support system. Handling grief alone is not a beneficial method, so consider speaking with a trusted family member or friend, a mental health professional, or joining a support group for suicide survivors. There are many resources available and can be found through agencies like the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, which can be found online at www.afsp.org.
Helping Others Cope with Suicide Grief
If someone you know is a suicide survivor, there are things that you can do to help. While it might seem most comfortable to give them space, this could leave them feeling isolated and ashamed. You may not feel totally competent in helping others with suicide grief, but some of the following activities can be a great help.
Want to talk to a counselor today about this?
Sources
Historic Counseling Center
7791 Byron Center Ave SW
Byron Center, MI 49315
616-499-4711
South Counseling Center
2465 Byron Station Dr SW
Byron Center, MI 49315
616-499-4711